I HATE MONDAYS!
by IdlingHybrid
Summary: This is a story i wrote a while ago, i found, i read, i though you might like! this is based around Steve Fox, because i had a huge fond spot for the british boxer! interesting things happen! Warning mentions of rape!
1. I hate Mondays!

Yeah, I found this in my documents and I though I'd share it with y'all out there. I wrote it ages ago and am rather pleased at how I wrote it! this I did when I was going through that whole "Steve Fox Rox my Sox" phase! Enjoy!

The adventures that Steve has in a very weird day that I don't know why I'm doing this!

This is just random and not very funny just yet, but it will be later on. I'm just very lazy with humour, and other things. It will get more interesting I swear

Rain clouds covered the city, threatening to release their assault. Steve woke up in his apartment and yawned. He stretched when he heard a loud pounding on his door. It was so frantic the door almost was blown off its rusty hinges. Steve frowned and called "er… coming" as he checked the time.8:15, Not unreasonable he guessed, slowly he trudged over to the door, still, even after his assurance the person on the other side insisted on knocking again.

"I said coming" Steve called angrily. A migraine was already developing. He opened the door and in rushed a small Chinese girl, with her hair in pig-tails. She was wearing a school uniform.

_Oh yeah,_ _its_ _Monday… wow already, Christ time goes fast_ Steve thought. He realised that the girl from down the hall was speaking. He grimaced and asked "your name's Ling Xiaoyu right?"

She stopped speaking and nodded.

"Well, Ling you're going to have to repeat what you said I wasn't listening" Steve told her.

She stared at him for a minute and then said slowly "I came here because I need your help with something"

He spoke in an equally slow tone "what do I need to help you with?"

Ling looked at him curiously and then shook her head and told him "I need you to take me to school"

"Why?" he groaned.

"Oh and you'll need to act as my long lost uncle" she added tentatively.

"why?" he asked suspiciously, blue eyes narrowing.

" all in good time buddy" she said grinning. " so whatdaya say?" she asked elbowing him.

" stop elbowing me, _mate_" he spat, emphasising the word Mate.

She stopped and fell to her knees and grovelled " please, pleeeeeeese" she whimpered.

Steve rolled his eyes and groaned "Fine! Let me get dressed first"

She squealed and jumped up and down on the balls of her feet. Steve walked off grumbling.

It was 8:30 and they were half way to Lings school, so she said.

"so why do I have to be your uncle anyway?" Steve asked.

" my long-lost Uncle" Ling corrected him

" fine, why do I have to be your Long lost uncle" he repeated, rolling his eyes.

"oh that, it's just, well I was meant to do a report on a family member and well I didn't have time, with training and all. So it's due today and I thought I could pas you off as my long lost uncle!" She said smiling.

"great…" Steve groaned " what am I supposed to do?"

"well, just talk about stuff and stuff, and stuff" she said shrugging.

He looked over at Ling angrily, she smiled sweetly then turned her eyes back to the road, a young woman stood in the middle of the road.

Ling screamed " THE ROAD!"

Steve snapped his head back just in time to see a girl with bright green hair and pale skin before he turned the wheel to the right hard and the car swerved, knocking the girl from his vision. The car came to a screeching halt, smashing into a tree. Smoke swirled around the tree lazily.

Steve sat there breathing heavily, Ling looked at him with wide and frightened eyes.

" holy flying shit!" Steve whispered. Ling unbuckled her seatbelt and opened her door. Steve did the same, they both trotted over to the Green Haired Girl who was still standing in the middle of the road.

"Miss?" Ling asked tentatively. When she didn't answer Steve placed a hand on her shoulder and shook her slightly " Ma'am" he asked quietly.

Suddenly she tuned to look at his car still smoking.

" your car is smashed" she said in a childs voice.

"yeah, thanks to you… What were you doing on the fucking road, you almost got us and yourself killed!' Steve shouted angrily.

Ling grabbed his arm and shook her head. Steve growled and told Ling " you deal with the Crazy Bitch, I'm going to check the damage"

He stalked over to his car, grey smoke swirled through his vision, the hood was bashed out of place, the headlights were demolished.

He sighed sadly " oh hell" he whispered.

Ling came over to him, dragging the Green Haired Girl behind her.

" she told me her name is Flyer" Ling said

" I'm so glad, we now have a name to put on her tombstone" Steve replied bitterly.

" I'm really sorry Mister" Flyer squeaked, still speaking like a child.

"er…Steve, she says she lives at Doubt Wallow Institution outside of the city.

_Doubt Wallow, sounds famili-_ Steve thought, then it hit him

"she's from the Crazy House?" he asked horror rising from his feet and slowly making it's way to his mind.

Ling nodded sadly. Steve shook his head disbelief.

"we have to take her back, right?" Steve asked in resignation.

Ling pat his shoulder in answer.

" let's just hope the bloody car starts, or someone's going to be very sorry" Steve stated.

Ling nodded and took Flyer around and placed her in the back seat. Ling then slipped in beside Flyer. Steve got behind the wheel and hoped the car would start with out blowing his ass sky high.

It started, the smoking subside a bit.

"everyone buckled up?" he asked.

"yup" Ling replied.

Steve glanced in the rear-view mirror and saw Flyer staring around, drool fell from her lower lip. Steve grimaced as he watched it hit his leather seats. He tore his eyes of her and began directing his way to Doubt Wallow.

After twenty minutes of driving, he boldly asked "So…Flyer why were you in Doubt Wallow?"

Ling looked surprised and glared at Steve. Flyer looked at the back of Steves' head and told him in a serious and cold voice " well, one night I heard all these voices in my head telling me to kill my family…. So I did, I got away with it for a while. But I was caught, then the voices told me to escape, so I did that."

Steve stopped the car suddenly, throwing her into the back of his seat.

"what the fuck?" she exclaimed.

Steve turned around and stared at Ling " I swear to god if that crazy son of a bitch tries anything, she's outta this car okay! She's already tried to kill us once today"

Ling nodded, wide-eyed. She noticed that Flyer was smirking at her evilly. Flyer noticed Ling was watching her and licked her lips deviously.

Steve, I'm coming in the front now" Ling exclaimed, sounding more like a prissy teenager than ever. She quickly clambered over the seats and glanced around at Flyer constantly.

Steve gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles almost white. His eye twitched slightly in anger. Flyer was pinching his neck and shoulder and ear. He stopped the car again. Flyer lurched into the back of his seat again and he heard her audibly bite her tongue.

"sorry" he said slyly. He could feel Flyer glaring at him.

Ling leant over and whispered " I'm really frightened" in his ear.

Steve shook his head and began driving again.

Soon after they were back in the city, Flyer flopped over Steve's seat and groaned " I'm starving"

Steve swerved the car and Flyer fell sideways. Ling pleaded with Steve to stop the car and get her something. After some persuasion Steve pulled up out the front of a small coffee shop.

Flyer scrambled outside and into the restaurant. Ling ran after her. Steve locked up the car.

Ling grabbed Flyers arm and pleaded " sit down please!" Flyer did begrudgingly. Flyer picked up a left over muffin that was on a nearby table. She hid it in her hand. Steve came in and walked over to where the two girls were sitting " what do you guy's want?" he asked, exhausted. Flyer pulled out the muffin and threw it, Steve dodged it by under and inch. Flyer growled in disappointment,

Steve snarled " I can't wait until they lock you up for the rest of your life"

Flyer smirked and sat down again. Steve got the girls ridiculously difficult orders.

Minutes later he returned with a tray that held their food.

Ling thanked him, Flyer growled and began scoffing her food down. Steve eyed her bitterly. Suddenly she reached over him to get a napkin and knocked his tea into his lap. He growled angrily and leapt up. Flyer grinned and told him "sorry"

Steve's eye twitched and Ling sighed in resignation.

"I'm going to find the bathroom, if you'll excuse me ladies" he stated angrily.

Steve entered the clean white bathroom. He spotted the sinks, he pulled off some paper towel and began mopping up the spilt coffee.

"uh… Steve" came Lings voice from out side the door. Steve opened it and peered down at Ling, she looked up at him sadly and said " Flyer….she…" she trailed off

"What did she do now?" Steve sighed angrily.

"she… ran off with our stuff"

"what do you mean Stuff" Steve asked.

"I'm mean my purse and your car keys and my bag" Ling said.

Steve stared off into space for a minute and groaned "come on we'd better find her!" he glanced at his watch 9:57 it said. _This is going to be a very long day_ he thought.

Well there you are…. The first chapter, appreciate reviews if you please, or I'll send you e-mail acid, there is such a thing, if you don't review then you'll know for sure! So yeah, tell me what you think, say whatever I don't care


	2. Don't eat old pizza

this is the last chapter, but hey, if you want me to go on with it, i will. but that's only if you like.

Disclaimer: yeah I forgot in the last chapter, don't own…but if I did…Steve would be sorry for being so hot hahahaha!

Steve and Ling crashed through the restaurant doors and glanced around. They saw no sign of Flyer; they could not miss her even if they tried.

"Should we split up?" asked Ling.

Steve thought for a moment and decided "I think we should stick together"

Ling nodded and followed him down the street.

After walking for a couple of minutes they spotted a familiar Brazilian woman. Ling brightened and waved to the woman.

"Christie! Christie!" shouted Ling bouncing up and down.

Steve shot a glance at his watch again 10:21. He sighed; the migraine was back and relentless. They approached the woman Christie who embraced Ling in a friendly hug whilst juggling shopping bags.

"Let me help you with them" Exclaimed Ling taking bags from Christie then handing them to Steve.

"Excuse me, I didn't offer to help" he whined.

The two girls looked at him then began whispering and giggling like school girls.

_One of them is remember_ he thought

Then added _I wanna go home, I will kill Flyer!_

He bumped into Ling and Christie, who were looking at him quizzically

"I said that out loud didn't i?" he asked sheepishly. They nodded, he nodded.

"Who's Flyer?" asked Christie.

Ling glanced at Steve, who rolled his eyes and turned his attention to the windows of the shops they were passing. Ling proceeded in telling Christie their run in with the Doubt Wallow Escapee.

"That's tough" Christie told them.

"I know" Steve told her tonelessly.

"Oh, my car is just up the road, we'll hop in and look for her, how does that sound?" Christie asked smiling.

Steve groaned in relief, Ling hugged Christie in thanks.

They were sitting in Christie's purple car (thought pending) Steve glared intently around

_That stupid Crazy Wench is dead! I swear_ he thought angrily.

"Can we stop to drop my bags off first guys?" Christie asked, the wind whipping her hair behind her.

"That's fine!" Ling smiled.

They arrived at Christie's house which was quite large and white, with a pool glistening in the back, very pretty. The inside wasn't as pretty, clothes littered the floor, and an old pizza box lay on the coffee table in front of the tellie. Steve flopped down on the couch, resting his tired feet and aching back

"How old is this pizza?" he called as the girls walked in to the kitchen

"Er…" Christie popped her head out and thought for a moment "I think… two days"

"Phht, good enough, I'm starving" Steve stated picking up a piece and shovelling it down greedily. His stomach growled in thanks. Steve moaned slightly in happiness

He noticed Christie staring at him in disgust

"It's surprisingly good" he stated and took another piece.

Ten minutes later at 11:29 they set off again. Steve's stomach felt upset and restless.

"Guys that Pizza isn't agreeing with me" he groaned clutching his stomach.

"Throw up in my car and you're dead" hissed Christie glaring at him in the rear view mirror in much the same way Steve had glared at Flyer.

_I wonder where that little whore is_ Steve wondered silently. He hiccuped slightly. _Oh no_ he shouted in his mind as that familiar hot and cold sweat broke out on his forehead and his stomach felt slippery. He burped slightly. Christie eyed him suspiciously. Steve stifled another burp and hid his face.

He held it down until the arrived at a gas station. He scrambled into the bathroom with a broken lock; he had time to glance around. It stunk of urine, crap and semen. He shuddered. The mirror was dirty and cracked; the sink was brown with grime and chipped. The toilet was once, in years long past, white, but now was the same grimy brown as the sink; he looked hesitantly at the toilet before biting his tongue and kneeling before it. He commenced his vomiting. It was helped along by the horrendous smell of urine wafting from the toilet.

Finally his vomiting subsided and he stood up. His head felt light, his stomach felt detached. He tasted the disgusting after taste of the vomit. He flushed the toilet, oddly surprised it actually worked.

"Stupid pizza, you win this time" Steve muttered wiping his mouth on his forearm. He was gazing into the dirty mirror when a prostitute looking woman stalked in, her hair was brown and streaked with red and grey, and her make up was piled on. She looked at him and said "hey hot stuff"

Steve looked at her through the mirror, an eyebrow arched. He started glancing around nervously. He felt the same alternately hot/cold sweat break out on his forehead.

_Oh god I'm gonna puke again_ he thought as his stomach become slippery once again.

The prostitute walked up behind him and stood dangerously close. Steve leaned over the sink trying to stifle wretches and gags. He turned slowly, shuddering as the slippery feeling rose up to his throat. He would have said something but he was afraid he would puke again if he opened his mouth. The prostitute smiled revealing, what about three yellow jagged teeth. He felt her stinking breath on his face; it smelt of cigarettes, alcohol and semen. He cried out as she asked "wanna have a go, stud?"

He couldn't hold it down, he felt the burning in his throat, and before he could even react the disgusting puke was out of his mouth and splattered on the prostitute. When he was done he stared in wide eyed horror. The prostitute stared down at herself in wide eyed horror as yellow half liquid dripped on to the dirty floor. Steve wiped his mouth and said "er… I have to go…" he quickly scrambled out of the bathroom, and noticed a biker gang waiting outside the bathroom.

_Shit, she's with them, must be_ he thought frantically. He bolted past them and jumped into Christies' car, the other two were already waiting.

"I bought you a drin-" started Ling

Steve interrupted " okay, I just puked on the biker gangs whore" he was panting as he looked out of the back window and saw the puke covered prostitute come out of the bathroom and point to the car. The biggest man that looked oddly familiar stared and sneered.

"Oh for the love of god, drive dammit!" he cried frantically.

Christie smashed her foot on to the gas and they flew from the gas station.

Steve sunk into his seat and began chuckling

"What's so damn funny" shouted Christie, still frightened.

"I just… puked… on a….whore" he said between laughs.

Ling began chuckling, Christie joined in after a while

"Nice move" Ling stated.

They drove on for a few minutes on the almost deserted road when twelve or so motorcycles shrouded the car.

"son of a bitch!" exclaimed Steve recognising the whore.

"oh my god!" squealed Ling.

Christie sat in the front breathing heavily. " oh crap, oh crap!" she repeated.

"Hey, is that Paul Phoenix?" Steve asked confused. He was riding a big red hog, the whore clung to his waist. His flat top didn't move at all even in the high winds.

_That is the freakiest thing ever!_ Steve thought confused and a little frightened.

He was motioning for them to pull over.

"should i?" Christie asked in a panic.

" I think we should, it will just make it worse if we don't" Steve sighed.

Ling immediately brightened and exclaimed "they can't beat up girls!"

Christie smiled at Ling. Steve frowned

" dammit, could you act like a man so I don't get beaten… as much?" he asked

Christie pulled over and the bikers surrounded the small car.

Steve took a deep breath and stepped out of the car.

" er… hi… guys" he said warily.

Christie and Ling pulled themselves out of the car and stood clinging to each other.

He heard Ling yelp and saw one of the bikers, a huge hairy santa clause in leather stroke her hair. Ling slapped his hand away and clung to Christie tighter. Steve sighed and turned back to the man that looked like Paul.

"are you Paul Phoenix?" Steve asked. Paul nodded and laced an arm around the short fat woman.

"yes, I heard you chucked all over my lady here mate" Paul said in a slow drawl.

"well, look at me, I spilt tea on me… she could have just… knocked something all over her shirt that looks oddly like vomit!" Steve said desperately motioning to the dark stain on his pants.

Paul looked at him unimpressed. The woman growled and hit Steve over the head

" you fucking vomited on me you little… you little…" she trailed off.

Steve looked at her in shock, rubbing his cheek " well… I said sorry"

" that's exactly it, you didn't!" she shouted.

Steve coughed and recalled that he'd run off " oh yeah I guess I didn't."

"well, we are gonna have to take you back to the Pit, so we can deal with ya there!" Paul exclaimed angrily.

"um… paul, we didn't puke on your beautiful lady friend…" Christie choked slightly on her words. " so ah… do we have to go… because we shouldn't cause we didn't puke on her, it was Steve, not us… we didn't puke on her, it wasn't us-"

"Shut up!" Shouted Paul; cutting Christie off.

Steve glared at her "thanks; just abandon me!" he cried indignantly.

Christie shrugged meekly, Ling was trembling.

"you two are coming, we can find something for you to do whilst there" Santa Clause in Leather said smiling at Ling. Steve chuckled " ha, try and betray me…"

Ling began crying " I don't wanna be raped!"

They all were told to get back in the car, Christie was to drive, the bikers surrounded the car, in case they tried to veer off the track without permission.

"I am going to KILL you Steve, I swear I will!" Christie shouted at him.

Ling turned in her seat and socked him in the temple. " you're a dead man!" She growled.

"Ow! What was that for?" he asked, knowing exactly what it was for.

"for getting me raped by Santa Clause in Leather!" she snarled.

"hey, that's what I was calling him! What a coincidence ey?" he asked, forgetting their current situation.

That's all folks, I particularly like this chapter, I like vomit so yeah! I hope you enjoyed reading. Review please! See-yah for now


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